I really need to come to the conclusion that Fi will always be congested. The poor thing sounds like a Pug (nothing against Pugs). And she's had an ear infection for over 3 wks and is now on her 2nd anti-biotic. On top of that, she develped a really juice sounding cough over the weekend. The worst part is that she is just too little to get the mucus out herself. She coughs and coughs, then swollows the phlegm back down (ick). Joy.
Fortunately, she's feeling much better over all. There is a HUGE difference in her attitude and actions since her ears no longer hurt - yay for happy bebe.
However, the poor thing now has her own medicine cabinate in her closet - Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Benedril, Triaminic Cough & Cold, Saline drops, nose bulp (we call it the squeegie thingie), Vicks - baby chest rub and inserts for the Humidifier, a Cool Mist Humidifier, and several suringes to admnister the various meds. This is not including being on anti-boitics to 3 wks. Oh, and she sleeps at an angle to help w/the flow of mucus.
The girl is stocked up for anything.
Last Friday, she developed a cough. It got worse, then better, then last night worse again. So much so that I felt the congestion in her chest. First thoughts where: shit. chest cold (uri).
So, off to the Pedi today. Thankfully, her Lungs have a clear bill of health. She just gets so congested that the phlegm sits in her throat and causes her chest to vibrate. Pedi feels that she is at the worst point of it and it should start to improve. HOWEVER, we need to be on the look out for her ears to start bothering her again, as the infection can come back. Awesome.
Ah, the joys of parenthood.
*finger's crossed* that she will eventually grow out of this.
Later
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Ever done....
Every prepare for a fight? I mean like really gear yourself up. Mentally prepared, thought out what you're going to say, how you're going to say it, anticipate what the other person's reaction/responses are going to be, ect. Then have them react in a way out of character and totally deflate your unruley sense of rage?
Well, that's what I did a few weeks ago. I really geared myself up for a fight w/Husband. I was going to tell him exactically how I felt, why I felt that way and that he needed to listen to me wether he liked it or not. Damn it!
I get home from school, I'm fuming mad, and I start in on him. I express that I'd been feeling really depressed, that I don't think he appreciates me, how I feel like a single parent, he never helps me, how I need him to help out more, ect.
He the starts to give me a deer in headlights look of "oh shit" "maybe if I don't move, she won't notice me". He then simples says "ok, if you need me to do something, just ask. I'll do it. What do you need?"
*insert deflated balloon sound here*
Yep - totally killed my argument.
But I had to prove my point and was like "Well, Her bottles need to be washed...and...the dishes need to be done....and you need to take care of her tonight so I can sleep!" (imagine a finger point and "yeah" sound being done - if I know you irl, ask me to act this out).
And, he did. He did everything I asked.
Been good ever since. Stupid boys.
Later
Well, that's what I did a few weeks ago. I really geared myself up for a fight w/Husband. I was going to tell him exactically how I felt, why I felt that way and that he needed to listen to me wether he liked it or not. Damn it!
I get home from school, I'm fuming mad, and I start in on him. I express that I'd been feeling really depressed, that I don't think he appreciates me, how I feel like a single parent, he never helps me, how I need him to help out more, ect.
He the starts to give me a deer in headlights look of "oh shit" "maybe if I don't move, she won't notice me". He then simples says "ok, if you need me to do something, just ask. I'll do it. What do you need?"
*insert deflated balloon sound here*
Yep - totally killed my argument.
But I had to prove my point and was like "Well, Her bottles need to be washed...and...the dishes need to be done....and you need to take care of her tonight so I can sleep!" (imagine a finger point and "yeah" sound being done - if I know you irl, ask me to act this out).
And, he did. He did everything I asked.
Been good ever since. Stupid boys.
Later
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
zomg
I am soooo tired. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Every day for the past few weeks I've been waking up w/cramps. I don't mean I wake up and go "oh, I have cramps". I'm waking up because I have cramps. So, I'm either not sleeping cause Fi wakes at least 2x a night to eat, I'm up cause I can't get comfortable. Because if it's not cramps, it's the Fibro pn in my back and hips.
Yep, just about everything is back again. Random cramping throughout the day; throbbing type pn in my feet and ankles; almost debilatating low back and hip pn. OH and don't forget the gianormous knotts in my shoulders. I'm a fun time!
It figures though. I'm that 5% of women who get a return of endo sx after bebe. I'm honestly not really suprised. That is my life and if anyone had any question about how I deal with things - here ya go.
I am the Post Child for Murphy's Law. Always have been. Always will. And usually I'm ok with this. But nothing good has ever happened to me without the other shoe dropping. I had an easy time conceiving, had a wonderful pregnancy, a fairly easy delivery and then 3-4 months post-partum, it starts all over again as if nothing happened.
I'm sure it's partly stress related too. Driving 60miles a day really and getting stuck in parking lot type traffic really can't be good for a person. Thankfully, school really hasn't been that bad. And work is also low stress. It's more that I'm still kinda pissed they wouldn't let me work from home.
Then you add the always having to be "on" as a Mom. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Fiona like crazy and I get sooooo happy to see her when I get home. Her smiles really light up my heart - even when she's being cranky for no reason. And eventhough I wasn't able to breastfeed, we're clearly bonded. She knows exactically who her Mama is. Oh, and watching try to eat food is just hysterical - more on that later. It's just that I'm not able to be me until after she goes to bed and even then not so much as I have to take care of Husband. Who I also love lots, he's just, well, a stupid boy.
Take last night for instance: I get home w/Fi and he's gaming. No worries there as dinner is cooked and he's blowing off steam from a lousy day at work. So, I get Fi ready for her dinner and set her up in the living room on the couch in her chair and start giving her pears (really like them. Well, what made it into her mouth, I mean). I thought we were being pretty quiet - she wasn't making a lot of disapproving noises and I was speaking low encouragement to her - you know, positive reinforcement. Anywho, this apparently caused Husband to loose his game and this, of course, becomes my fault as I was clearly distracting him feeding Fi. I appologies (cause I'm stupid) and states that I didn't realize we were being a distraction and I also didn't know he had a bad day (heaven forbid he share feelings). He storms off ranting about how I apparently ruined his life.
So, I finish feeding Fi, clean her up and change out of my work clothes. He comes back in from having a cigarrette and appologies for the out-burst. I accept but still have a bad taste in my mouth. Rightfully so. As apparently, this was going to be a "I can't do anything right" night. LOVE those. After I put Fi to bed, he askes me to help w/cutting his hair. He then proceedes to comment on everything I do wrong (or he thinks wrong). No thank you for helping. Nothing.
We finish, he cleans up (I refused to), he leaves and I wash my face. I sit back on the couch and start silently fumming/crying. He doesn't notice. Why you ask? Cause again, he's a boy and dumb and really can't handle any emotion from me...at all.
Eventually, I get up to go to bed and he's like "what's wrong?" "are you mad at me?". I explain that I'm not mad, just upset. Cause I really wasn't mad more hurt. I then explain, basically, that I don't feel appreciated. I almost never get "gee thanks honey" and actually mean it - not dripping with sarcasm. That when I do something for him, I don't get a simple thank you. I get a "well you didn't do this this or this" instead. I feel like I'm always being critisized. I don't think he gets that when I ask him to do something, it's because I need his help. I'm not asking to be a nag or a bitch. It's because I need help! And then he wonders why I don't ask for his help, when every time I ask him I get an immedate response of "no". Like that's the final word. I explained that that reaction is of a 16yr old asshat. Not a 36yr old married father.
You'd think by now that he'd realize it really doesn't take much to make me happy. A kind word here or there, throwing his trash away w/out being asked, or simply asking him to hold Fi w/out making a face first would do. I'm simple!! I could be a lot worse!! I just don't think he realizes that.
So, he appologies, said he loved me and that he does appreciate me and everything I do. I know he means it but we'll see if anything changes. I don't mean big change. Just a simple thank you would do wonders.
WHY ARE BOYS SO DUMB!?!?!?!
Later
Yep, just about everything is back again. Random cramping throughout the day; throbbing type pn in my feet and ankles; almost debilatating low back and hip pn. OH and don't forget the gianormous knotts in my shoulders. I'm a fun time!
It figures though. I'm that 5% of women who get a return of endo sx after bebe. I'm honestly not really suprised. That is my life and if anyone had any question about how I deal with things - here ya go.
I am the Post Child for Murphy's Law. Always have been. Always will. And usually I'm ok with this. But nothing good has ever happened to me without the other shoe dropping. I had an easy time conceiving, had a wonderful pregnancy, a fairly easy delivery and then 3-4 months post-partum, it starts all over again as if nothing happened.
I'm sure it's partly stress related too. Driving 60miles a day really and getting stuck in parking lot type traffic really can't be good for a person. Thankfully, school really hasn't been that bad. And work is also low stress. It's more that I'm still kinda pissed they wouldn't let me work from home.
Then you add the always having to be "on" as a Mom. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Fiona like crazy and I get sooooo happy to see her when I get home. Her smiles really light up my heart - even when she's being cranky for no reason. And eventhough I wasn't able to breastfeed, we're clearly bonded. She knows exactically who her Mama is. Oh, and watching try to eat food is just hysterical - more on that later. It's just that I'm not able to be me until after she goes to bed and even then not so much as I have to take care of Husband. Who I also love lots, he's just, well, a stupid boy.
Take last night for instance: I get home w/Fi and he's gaming. No worries there as dinner is cooked and he's blowing off steam from a lousy day at work. So, I get Fi ready for her dinner and set her up in the living room on the couch in her chair and start giving her pears (really like them. Well, what made it into her mouth, I mean). I thought we were being pretty quiet - she wasn't making a lot of disapproving noises and I was speaking low encouragement to her - you know, positive reinforcement. Anywho, this apparently caused Husband to loose his game and this, of course, becomes my fault as I was clearly distracting him feeding Fi. I appologies (cause I'm stupid) and states that I didn't realize we were being a distraction and I also didn't know he had a bad day (heaven forbid he share feelings). He storms off ranting about how I apparently ruined his life.
So, I finish feeding Fi, clean her up and change out of my work clothes. He comes back in from having a cigarrette and appologies for the out-burst. I accept but still have a bad taste in my mouth. Rightfully so. As apparently, this was going to be a "I can't do anything right" night. LOVE those. After I put Fi to bed, he askes me to help w/cutting his hair. He then proceedes to comment on everything I do wrong (or he thinks wrong). No thank you for helping. Nothing.
We finish, he cleans up (I refused to), he leaves and I wash my face. I sit back on the couch and start silently fumming/crying. He doesn't notice. Why you ask? Cause again, he's a boy and dumb and really can't handle any emotion from me...at all.
Eventually, I get up to go to bed and he's like "what's wrong?" "are you mad at me?". I explain that I'm not mad, just upset. Cause I really wasn't mad more hurt. I then explain, basically, that I don't feel appreciated. I almost never get "gee thanks honey" and actually mean it - not dripping with sarcasm. That when I do something for him, I don't get a simple thank you. I get a "well you didn't do this this or this" instead. I feel like I'm always being critisized. I don't think he gets that when I ask him to do something, it's because I need his help. I'm not asking to be a nag or a bitch. It's because I need help! And then he wonders why I don't ask for his help, when every time I ask him I get an immedate response of "no". Like that's the final word. I explained that that reaction is of a 16yr old asshat. Not a 36yr old married father.
You'd think by now that he'd realize it really doesn't take much to make me happy. A kind word here or there, throwing his trash away w/out being asked, or simply asking him to hold Fi w/out making a face first would do. I'm simple!! I could be a lot worse!! I just don't think he realizes that.
So, he appologies, said he loved me and that he does appreciate me and everything I do. I know he means it but we'll see if anything changes. I don't mean big change. Just a simple thank you would do wonders.
WHY ARE BOYS SO DUMB!?!?!?!
Later
Friday, March 9, 2012
New Job
So, I may have a lead on a new career opportunity.
Visions Medical just bought a new building that is 20min closer to my house (ie, I drive past their new site on my way to work). I am a pt at Visions and have been since it started - I followed my PCP there and that's where I see dr.Wendie too. I also taught yoga there for a few of the employees. They are an integrative practice - meaning, they offer Primary Care, Therapy, Chiropractic, Acupuncture, Nutrion, Allergy, ect. The premise is that it takes a villiage to help a pt.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!
Anywho, she came by the office the other day to say hi and we chatted for a bit. I asked her about the new place and how excited everything was - they are a fast growing practice.
Then I asked: "So, are you going to be hiring?"
She immediately gave me the info for the person I should contact w/my resume. And to specifically say that I knew her.
*squee*
I tried to explain that I was happy here but. And she was like "if you're saying but, you're not happy". So, very very true. I do enjoy what I do and who I work w/but I'm tired of all the crap. Not to say that I won't encounter that there but that's life. It took me almost 8yrs to get sick of this place. There it will be a whole new world of crap to learn. And again, I want to work w/in an integrative practice once I get my Acupuncture Licence. This is kind of like my foot in the door for the future.
And, of course, my brain starts going a mile a minute w/possiblities. I haven't done ANY on my assisting hours yet and I need to have 150 hrs before I can even think about starting clinic. This isn't a huge deal as I'm not looking at starting clinic for another year or so. Anywho, if I decided to work at Visions and they let me, I could factor in my assisting hours as part of my work hours. Cause that would be AWESOME!!!
So, yeah. That's where I'm at. The new building isn't opening until the Fall. Which actually works out great bacause I'll have plenty of time to figure out WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO DO!!!??!!!
I then said to dr.Wendie - "Hey, then you could hirer me as an Acupuncturist". She was like "Yeah."
*double squee* This is why we love her.
However, it all really boils down to if they make it worth my wild. If I'm not going to get more money or flexable hours, then even the 20min shorter commute might not be worth it.
Decisions, Decisions
Later
PS: not giving up on the NH dream. This would just be a way to make that more possible.
Visions Medical just bought a new building that is 20min closer to my house (ie, I drive past their new site on my way to work). I am a pt at Visions and have been since it started - I followed my PCP there and that's where I see dr.Wendie too. I also taught yoga there for a few of the employees. They are an integrative practice - meaning, they offer Primary Care, Therapy, Chiropractic, Acupuncture, Nutrion, Allergy, ect. The premise is that it takes a villiage to help a pt.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!
Anywho, she came by the office the other day to say hi and we chatted for a bit. I asked her about the new place and how excited everything was - they are a fast growing practice.
Then I asked: "So, are you going to be hiring?"
She immediately gave me the info for the person I should contact w/my resume. And to specifically say that I knew her.
*squee*
I tried to explain that I was happy here but. And she was like "if you're saying but, you're not happy". So, very very true. I do enjoy what I do and who I work w/but I'm tired of all the crap. Not to say that I won't encounter that there but that's life. It took me almost 8yrs to get sick of this place. There it will be a whole new world of crap to learn. And again, I want to work w/in an integrative practice once I get my Acupuncture Licence. This is kind of like my foot in the door for the future.
And, of course, my brain starts going a mile a minute w/possiblities. I haven't done ANY on my assisting hours yet and I need to have 150 hrs before I can even think about starting clinic. This isn't a huge deal as I'm not looking at starting clinic for another year or so. Anywho, if I decided to work at Visions and they let me, I could factor in my assisting hours as part of my work hours. Cause that would be AWESOME!!!
So, yeah. That's where I'm at. The new building isn't opening until the Fall. Which actually works out great bacause I'll have plenty of time to figure out WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO DO!!!??!!!
I then said to dr.Wendie - "Hey, then you could hirer me as an Acupuncturist". She was like "Yeah."
*double squee* This is why we love her.
However, it all really boils down to if they make it worth my wild. If I'm not going to get more money or flexable hours, then even the 20min shorter commute might not be worth it.
Decisions, Decisions
Later
PS: not giving up on the NH dream. This would just be a way to make that more possible.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Pronunciation
I heard someone mispronouncing Fiona's nickname - Fi.
They were pronouncing it as if they were saying Hi but w/an F.
It's written Fi but pronounced Fee.
Doesn't anyone else watch "Burn Notice"!?!
Later
They were pronouncing it as if they were saying Hi but w/an F.
It's written Fi but pronounced Fee.
Doesn't anyone else watch "Burn Notice"!?!
Later
Helpless
So, my friend H is having a really hard time. She and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for about 4 yrs now. She's been in fertility treatment for 3 yrs and had one pregnancy that ended w/a miscarriage.
She's hanging in there but it's clearly taking it's toll. I'm worried about her. It's like every time there is a new cycle, her feelings of hope are smaller and smaller. I'm worried that eventually there will be no hope of hope and her depression will become unbareable.
What doesn't help is that most of the rest of us are either pregnant or just had a baby. And we've started well after she started. Or, the friends that have also had fertility are now pregnant or have babies. It's like everywhere she goes it's shoved in her face - intentional or not. She is left no closer to her goal than when she started. Even after being through the hell of meds, u/s, iui and a miscarriage. And when the girls get together, all we seem to center around is babies cause, well, most of us have them now. Attempts are made to talk about other things but the under-lyer of babies is always there.
I've seen this before. In my sister-in-law (nephew's mom). It got so bad for her that she had a hard time going to stores that have a kid/baby section. She couldn't be around friends or family that had babies.
H isn't there yet but I see it heading in that direction. I find myself censoring what I say or share about Fi. I don't want every conversation we have to be about babies. Unless, she wants to. I usually let her start the conversation about it. She keeps saying she's fine. But I can totally see in her eyes that she's not. Monday was especially hard. She got ANOTHER negative pregnancy test.
And, even when she does get pregnant, there is going to be the fear of history repeating. Will this really work? Will I have another miscarriage? ect. I know, I've been there.
It just sucks. I really wish there was more I could do for her - other than give sypmathic looks and an open ear. I'm trying my best to be her cheerleader but it's hard to keep faith when the person you're doing it for has all but given up. She actually said the other day "it's ok. it just won't happen for me". I almost started crying right there.
It's just not fair that stupid people breed all the time and here's H no closer to her original goal and would make a fantastic mom.
Just. Sucks.
Later
She's hanging in there but it's clearly taking it's toll. I'm worried about her. It's like every time there is a new cycle, her feelings of hope are smaller and smaller. I'm worried that eventually there will be no hope of hope and her depression will become unbareable.
What doesn't help is that most of the rest of us are either pregnant or just had a baby. And we've started well after she started. Or, the friends that have also had fertility are now pregnant or have babies. It's like everywhere she goes it's shoved in her face - intentional or not. She is left no closer to her goal than when she started. Even after being through the hell of meds, u/s, iui and a miscarriage. And when the girls get together, all we seem to center around is babies cause, well, most of us have them now. Attempts are made to talk about other things but the under-lyer of babies is always there.
I've seen this before. In my sister-in-law (nephew's mom). It got so bad for her that she had a hard time going to stores that have a kid/baby section. She couldn't be around friends or family that had babies.
H isn't there yet but I see it heading in that direction. I find myself censoring what I say or share about Fi. I don't want every conversation we have to be about babies. Unless, she wants to. I usually let her start the conversation about it. She keeps saying she's fine. But I can totally see in her eyes that she's not. Monday was especially hard. She got ANOTHER negative pregnancy test.
And, even when she does get pregnant, there is going to be the fear of history repeating. Will this really work? Will I have another miscarriage? ect. I know, I've been there.
It just sucks. I really wish there was more I could do for her - other than give sypmathic looks and an open ear. I'm trying my best to be her cheerleader but it's hard to keep faith when the person you're doing it for has all but given up. She actually said the other day "it's ok. it just won't happen for me". I almost started crying right there.
It's just not fair that stupid people breed all the time and here's H no closer to her original goal and would make a fantastic mom.
Just. Sucks.
Later
Monday, February 27, 2012
bah
So, I'm back at work.
For about 3 wks now.
Yeah, nothing very intersting about it. Other that the fact that I don't really want to be here. It helps I actually do like my job and the people I work with. And it's nice to get out of the house, have adult time and some me time. My only issue is that they denied me working from home.
Quote - "Not enough work"
Now, I know this didn't come from K - my supervisor. It came from the higher ups. And, it's not because there isn't enough work. It's because they want the extra body in the dept to help cover things....like always. Eh. Husband doesn't understand why I put up w/it but then again, he doesn't like his job. Or the people he works with.
One good thing at work is that they've started this Employee health service. It's basically a free program to help get employees in better health. The program it's self is very intersting and I signed up. There's tips, a personal coach, nutrition advice, ect. They basically customize the plan for you and your life. Oh, and you get paid to do it. Because I have my health insurance through work, they will pay you up to $500 to do the program and jump through the hoops. Seemed kinda worth it for me. And it will help get the rest of my baby weight off - and then some, hopefully. And, again, it's free and I get paid. Seemed like a no brainer to me.
Bebe is good. She's being a pain lately but I'm pretty sure it's due to a growth spurt. She's decided to not eat as much during the day so she can cluster feed from 7-10p. It's irritaing in that I'm a stickler for consistantcy. However, I am learning to let it go and go w/the flow. Husband is learning too. I keep telling him that it's a learning curve for all 3 of us. And until she can communicate w/ more than just cries, it's what we have to work w/. Again, it's a good thing she's cute. She is also adjusting well to the new routine and her new sitters - J and In-Laws.
But really, overall, she's fine and a very easy going/good Bebe. Of all the things that could go on w/her, this is what I'm whinning about - yeah, I can get over it. I can't wait for her to get bigger so we can do more stuff together. I'm finding I'm not a huge fan of this Newborn/Infant stage. And I get it from my Mum as she told me she felt the same way w/my brother and I.
NH is still a plan I intend to follow. It's going to take time but Husband is still on board. I just need to keep bringing it up and keep it alive. Otherwise, we'll both forget and go "why didn't we do that again!?!" It has also definatly evolved into us starting our own farm complete w/animals. And I have several friends interested in joining us! Yay for our own commune...hehehe!!!
School is going well. Starting to plan for Summer session. I really wish I could just do school full time and finish in the next year or so. But, as it was explained by a fellow student, it's a marathon not a sprint. I just want to be done! More so that we can move on w/out lives and I can get started on the PREP program via the online w/the University of Edinburgh.......yes, I'm that insane.
So, I guess that's it. Life is what it is and I'm ok with that!
Later
For about 3 wks now.
Yeah, nothing very intersting about it. Other that the fact that I don't really want to be here. It helps I actually do like my job and the people I work with. And it's nice to get out of the house, have adult time and some me time. My only issue is that they denied me working from home.
Quote - "Not enough work"
Now, I know this didn't come from K - my supervisor. It came from the higher ups. And, it's not because there isn't enough work. It's because they want the extra body in the dept to help cover things....like always. Eh. Husband doesn't understand why I put up w/it but then again, he doesn't like his job. Or the people he works with.
One good thing at work is that they've started this Employee health service. It's basically a free program to help get employees in better health. The program it's self is very intersting and I signed up. There's tips, a personal coach, nutrition advice, ect. They basically customize the plan for you and your life. Oh, and you get paid to do it. Because I have my health insurance through work, they will pay you up to $500 to do the program and jump through the hoops. Seemed kinda worth it for me. And it will help get the rest of my baby weight off - and then some, hopefully. And, again, it's free and I get paid. Seemed like a no brainer to me.
Bebe is good. She's being a pain lately but I'm pretty sure it's due to a growth spurt. She's decided to not eat as much during the day so she can cluster feed from 7-10p. It's irritaing in that I'm a stickler for consistantcy. However, I am learning to let it go and go w/the flow. Husband is learning too. I keep telling him that it's a learning curve for all 3 of us. And until she can communicate w/ more than just cries, it's what we have to work w/. Again, it's a good thing she's cute. She is also adjusting well to the new routine and her new sitters - J and In-Laws.
But really, overall, she's fine and a very easy going/good Bebe. Of all the things that could go on w/her, this is what I'm whinning about - yeah, I can get over it. I can't wait for her to get bigger so we can do more stuff together. I'm finding I'm not a huge fan of this Newborn/Infant stage. And I get it from my Mum as she told me she felt the same way w/my brother and I.
NH is still a plan I intend to follow. It's going to take time but Husband is still on board. I just need to keep bringing it up and keep it alive. Otherwise, we'll both forget and go "why didn't we do that again!?!" It has also definatly evolved into us starting our own farm complete w/animals. And I have several friends interested in joining us! Yay for our own commune...hehehe!!!
School is going well. Starting to plan for Summer session. I really wish I could just do school full time and finish in the next year or so. But, as it was explained by a fellow student, it's a marathon not a sprint. I just want to be done! More so that we can move on w/out lives and I can get started on the PREP program via the online w/the University of Edinburgh.......yes, I'm that insane.
So, I guess that's it. Life is what it is and I'm ok with that!
Later
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